What happens when you’re child free for an afternoon??
Well, I’m child free for an afternoon! My amazing parents offered to look after Adrianna for a few hours while I got prepared for a Little Learners Birthday Party tomorrow. Fab, they get their granddaughter for the afternoon and I get to be childfree!
I had a list of things to do including picking up a shopping order for the party. Make 6 pints of jelly/custard/porridge/angel delight, make play dough, fill paints and pack my van! So much to keep me busy and I’ll not have a second to spare.
Do you want to know what I’ve actually done while I’ve been child free for an afternoon? And how it compares to when my little angel is here??
Started off going to get my click and collect order with all my birthday party shopping. Being child free I didn’t mind the 20 minute wait while they wheeled it out, I actually enjoyed sitting in quiet with the radio on planning a quick lunch when I got home.
– As opposed to sitting in a red hot van, with a screaming child wanting to get out. Who blatantly knew the man wasn’t just going to be ‘2 minutes’ after the 6th time of saying. Resulting in a fight to keep her arms in to the seatbelts which would have ultimately resulted in the horn being pressed unnecessarily a few times.
I then got home and fully emptied the shopping into the house in 3 minutes. A few trips but 4 straight trips from the van into the house AND EVEN got the shopping sorted and put away.
– Pulling up at home to an already seatbelt free child who is desperate to get out and get to the door first. Resulting in the slowest walk up the stairs ever, with very heavy bags, as she is refusing to let me past to open the door with a key. Run back out to the car for 2nd run, turn around and see little miss stood holding the front door open and letting the dog out. I try to squeeze past the door attendant who again is refusing to move, with 2 massive bags. Literally throw them in the passage to go and get the dog. Eventually dogs in and so is the last load of bags! Just need to put it all away in the cupboards at the same time every bag is being pulled apart looking for ‘Peppa yoghurts’. Finally all bags empty, shopping away and only took 40 minutes! Until I realise the 2 bags I threw into the passage are still there and low and behold they are the freezer foods!!
After very quick empty of van, I actually got to sit down and eat a hot lunch. Yes hot as in warm, it still had temperature and while watching crappy day time telly. I actually enjoyed the s**t I was watching and watched the rest of the program after eating my food, which actually only took 10 minutes to eat.
– Child present means food is ALWAYS freezing cold. I get to sit down for 2 minutes before having to get up to get something for little legs, which I only just offered 2 seconds ago before I sat down but at that time it wasn’t needed. Eating my cold lunch, watching c-flipping-beebies or Moana for the 1000s time and all in all dinner takes 2 hours!
I made the most perfect, hot cup of tea (getting the temperature pattern here) and drank it straight away. Then lay down for half an hour, even closed my eyes, with no shouting, no interruptions and no guilt!
– With mini me around I eventually get round to making a cuppa, that’s actually disgusting! Because in the middle of making it I’ve had to break her toys out of play dough 3 times (why do they do this?) and had actually forgot to even put a tea bag in! Sitting down on the setee is a rarity in itself. But the second I even think of closing my eyes she jumps up and decides it’s time to be in a death metal group and play with her drums and guitar. Even if just before I sat down she was lay down, seconds from a nap!
Actually filled the washer, put it on the correct wash program AND emptied it as soon as it finished. EVEN getting them out on the line while it’s dry, sunny and before 9pm!
– In crazy child world, I’ll eventually fill the washer up after putting it off 2 days. Then select the total wrong program in my rush resulting in the wash lasting 4 hours! Forgetting about it totally in the chaos that is my house and only remembering 2 days later! To then open the washer door and it smells. Back to square 1, set it away again, remember to empty, go to put it on the line it’s flipping 10pm and peeing down! No radiator space, now have a pile of wet clothes outside the washer just standing instead of inside.
I’ve had an afternoon shower AND washes my hair! The full shabang, exfoliated and leg shave (I suppose at some point I will embrace summer and get the pins out so best be prepared!) Even contemplated a bath … bubble bath! I could have been done too!
– When house is full I normally shower at about 9pm. Which seems to be the time that everyone in the household needs the toilet, need to run the water downstairs for 5 minutes for no reason (or that bloody washer, that I’ve just restarted, is filling up and taking the water pressure down to a dribble). Resulting in a 2 minute bits and pits shower. NO hair wash, just chuck it up in a messy bun or dry shampoo it! And definitely no razor in sight! As soon as I lean over to do a leg, that is the moment the family and the dog bust in the bathroom and nobody wants to see that sight! Baths are just a no go when a child is in the area!
How about this? I’ve had a toilet trip unassisted and undisturbed! (It IS possible people!)
– The second my bum cheeks hit the seat there’s bangs at the door, things getting posted under it, and screams of ‘I need a wee mammy, me please!’. Or I’ve waited forever, run up 2 seconds and then there’s an almighty bang mid-flow from downstairs! Why?? Just decided to throw something off the setee and give me a heart attack!
What an afternoon!
So now I have been sat writing this for half an hour, laughing and giggling at how different it is when your home alone. But also, how much I miss my little legs and how scarily quiet the place is without her. It’s nice to have a little time to yourself and be child free for an afternoon (and get to do things Daddy’s seem to do daily ever so easily like 25 minute toilet trips and 1 hour long showers!). But I’m now going to get ready and go pick my darling daughter up immediately! Writing this has made me realise how much I miss her! But guaranteed within 5 minutes of picking her up I’m going to have wished I had taken the longer route there!
Love parenting, cherish it! It’s so special and won’t last forever! One day the house will be quiet everyday as they grow up and move out to start their own family adventure. This is when we can see the joy our little ones bring to grandparents, godparents and family friends who may not have the daily fun, laughter and delight children bring to a home.